Body Image: Love Yourself!

It's refreshing to see more K-pop idols speaking out about their experiences with body image. From Red Velvet's Wendy discussing the pressure to maintain a certain weight to BTS's Suga sharing his journey with self-love, these honest confessions remind us that even our favorite stars face challenges.

The Impact of K-Pop on Body Image

I never want to be a downer.  But there’s no denying research which has shown that unrealistic beauty standards in media, including K-Pop, can negatively impact self-esteem and body image. Reddit threads are filled with stories of fans struggling to meet the thin ideal portrayed by their idols. Surveys have revealed that many K-Pop fans feel pressure to conform to these standards, leading to unhealthy behaviors like dieting and over-exercising. Some days I would love to look like some of my biases, but I have to remember that’s not real life.  And that’s ok!!!

Unrealistic Standards: A Toxic Cycle

Aiming for perfection has so many artists in K-Pop heading to the plastic surgeon’s office. That’s their career. But it doesn’t have to be your life. 

And generally there is a “thin ideal” often portrayed in K-Pop. 

Remember when IU talked about her crazy diet on that show, "One Night of TV Entertainment"? She said she only ate an apple for breakfast, a sweet potato for lunch, and a protein shake for dinner. She lost like 15 pounds in just one week?! I love IU for addressing how unsustainable this was when she talked openly about her eating disorder.  

Not all bands or band members aim to promote thin ideals. Or they don’t do it on purpose.  But we must remember that it’s unrealistic for many and it can be harmful. 

The average American woman is a size 16-18, while the average South Korean woman is a size 2-4. That’s a stark contrast between the beauty standards promoted in the media and the reality of the human body.   Combine that with the fact we live in a diet culture and there is no shortage of ways to try to change yourself.  But always trying to diet to lose weight can take a toll on your physical and mental health. 

A 2005 study of 78 women found that those assigned to a traditional weight-loss diet program actually became less healthy over two years compared to those in a “Health at Every Size” (HAES) program. (The HAES program emphasized intuitive eating, body acceptance, and mental well-being.)

I love K-pop and I am not blaming one industry for this epidemic of trying to be physically “perfect” or a certain way. It’s everywhere – in movies, music, influencer culture, etc. So our job is to build our own understanding of what’s real. We can all develop confidence to be our best selves even if it doesn’t conform to these standards.  And if you’re dealing with a negative body image, there are steps to improve it. 

Steps to Improve Body Image

After reading through Jed Foundation, NAMI and others, I put together the following list.

Developing a healthy relationship with your body is to be really thoughtful about positivity in interactions with others …and yourself.  

1. Scrub your social media feed of unrealistic body images and add some others that portray more real people.  I have some favorite fashion influencers I pick specifically because they are mid size and I love their taste. Fill your feed with diversity!  You don’t have to be social media’s puppet. Teach your algorithms that you like content that’s all about body positivity, body acceptance, and honesty.

1. Now do that IRL.  Avoid making negative comments about your appearance.  And any time your BFF talks about how they hate their small boobs, their big nose, their ugly feet, their round belly, their crazy hair…you don’t have to say, “No! Your <boobs, hair, feet> are great.”  Try instead something more like, “I love all of you.”   And if you’re really dealing with a hater, you can drop a simple “Body shaming is not the vibe.” 

1. Love notes on the mirror:  If you’ve been bullying yourself with body-shaming, think of affirmations as your bodyguard.  Ok. OK I know. 

Before you laugh, consider the tons of neuroscience research that has confirmed how language helps rewire your brain, your thoughts, your actions. (One of the big ideas behind positive affirmations comes from a theory called self-affirmation, which was first talked about by Steele back in 1988.  So many more studies than I can list here have happened since then, e.g. Woodward, T. L., & Elliot, R. (2008). The power of positive thinking: Affirmations and self-regulation. Psychological Science) All I’m saying is…there’s some real science behind this stuff.  

Positive affirmations are no magic bullet but yes, they actually help.   Try doing it regularly.  Pin them on your dresser or tape to the mirror. Say them outloud, even if it’s a whisper. 

• "Wow - it’s pretty cool what my body can do." 

• "My size and shape are part of who I am. Respect!”

• "I appreciate my body’s natural beauty." 

• "Would you tell a friend she’s not good enough? No. You deserve some kindness and compassion too." 

• "I’m me and I’m good. No comparisons. It’s not a competition.”

1. Get gorgeous…on your terms.  It might sound superficial, but self-care can help you feel better about your body and image. Personal fashion and beauty should be a source of expression.  It’s just gotta be your version of good. Like wear clothes that feel confident and comfortable – you don’t need anything that makes you feel “not right” in your closet.  And it feels great when you put energy into outfits, make-up, hair, personal grooming, skin care, nails, you name it.  As the saying goes – you’re worth it!  

1. If you're struggling with body image issues, know that you're not alone. Here are some resources that can help:

• Jed Foundation Body Positivity & Neutrality

• The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA): NEDA provides information, support, and resources for individuals struggling with eating disorders and body image issues.

• The Body Positive: This organization promotes body acceptance and self-love through education, advocacy, and community-building.

• Therapy: Talking to a therapist can help you develop healthier coping mechanisms and improve your self-esteem.

I think it's normal to want to look good. And it takes practice to believe that your worth is not determined by your appearance or fitting into a single mold...that you don't need to be something only AI, lighting, makeup and digital effects can actually create.  But I really believe your ability to embrace your own unique beauty, body size, style and natural gifts are where real happiness comes from. It’s not automatic for many of us and it takes reminding ourselves and each other.

I truly wish you well as you strive for a healthy and positive relationship with your body.   #BTS #LoveYourself.